Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Lights on...Lights off...

Posted by beth at 11:22 PM

It was one of those fine days in January when I turned on the lights to our first home in Olney, Illinois. The clouds are pretty low that day…The sun wasn’t shining…The sky was weeping…and right there and then I felt the emptiness of my new world…

I was embraced by the cold breezy air…The trees stood there right outside our window with barely any leaves in it…The birds weren’t singing instead they’re migrating one by one…
I felt shivers down my spine…and right then I must admit that I was suffering from the so called “seasonal depression”…I miss my family…I miss my old friends…I miss my job…I miss my old life…


I must say that our lights are brightly turned on but despite it all I must say that I couldn’t feel the warmth that it offers…

Every single day I looked outside my window…and everyday I was hoping that I could have my life back…I was afraid of letting go…My past life had been the best that I’ve had…unfortunately I have to admit that I was too afraid to let it go…

I’ve been so exhausted of feeling so sorry for my self…not until I met Minnie…My life had been different eversince…

Having been with her, I must say had been the best days of my life…In her I was able to find someone who can relate to me…I was able to be simply “ME”…no hesitations…no masks…no cover ups…but I was just simply ME…

We were able to talk about anything under the sun…We we’re able to go to places where we really want to be…We were simply girls having fun exchanging ideas about our very own simple but complicated lives…We had our hair done together…We had our window shopping moments …our Ophelia’s cup days…and our Olney–Flora–Terra Haute–Vincennes and Evansville tours…hehehe

I’ll miss those days…I’ll miss Olney and our wonderful friends…

Our last 2 weeks in Olney had been the best 14 days of my life here in the US…It made me realize how lucky I am to find true wonderful friends…I’ll miss the good and simple life…I’ll miss having wonderful friends around…I’ll miss my lovely Annara and sweet Jotham….
…For the last time, on August 2, 2008, we had to turn off the lights to a place where we called “home” for the past 19 months…


Our apartment at 1205 Chelsea Lane, Apt.#2, Olney, Illinois 62450 is empty again…The lights are turned off…the whole apartment seems to be very dark…the ticking clock is no longer audible to my ears…The birds will always be singing their songs, but sadly I won’t be able to hear them anymore…The tree will always be standing outside that little window…It will always be full of life…It will have those invigorating swinging leaves…and soon enough another sad and lifeless girl will peak outside her window…She’ll strum her guitar and write some songs…or better yet she’ll write lovely short stories of her own…and when the clock strikes 9 pm, when the skies are dark …she’ll turn her lights on for the very first time…and then I’m sure that she’ll start a new chapter of her life…

…and in the morning at the first rays of the sun, she’ll turn her lights off and she’ll start a new and long day…and later on she’ll meet her news friends that will make her story worth reading…

and so for now I’m signing off…but be back with a new story...

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