The Empty Bed

During my rounds I am used to pass by his room first...I'd always say "Hi!", and asked, "How are you today sir?"...He'd always answer with wide awake eyes, " I'm ok!"... For months I've always been greeted with his wide awake eyes and with his soft toned voice that would let me feel that my 8 hour shift would be ok...At times he'd make me worry a lot because of hyperglycemia that even his insulin sliding scale could cover...At times we'd all worry because of his hypoglycemic state that even a glass of orange juice could not help... After 4 long months I'm used to seeing him ambulating with minimal support...Now his bed remains empty...

I remember trying to fight back the tears on that dreadful day...Receiving him unresponsive to any stimuli and in respiratory distress ... Making him feel comfortable in his last few minutes was even harder... Seeing him with dilated pupils, unappreciated vital signs, and unresponsive made me feel so helpless even more...and somehow made me feel that my best wasnt good enough....

His empty bed will be occupied soon...Maybe ... maybe just maybe this time I'll be able to see a gleeful smile...with a soft toned voice and a pair of wide awake eyes that would make me feel that it's finally time to say goodbye to the wonderful resident that left that special room... that brought tears to my eyes...But sure enough I'll never ever forget Mr. Nice and his EMPTY BED for a long long time...Sigh!

Double Date Night...

Sigh! It feels so great...We miss the double M&M friendship...We miss Mona and Melvin...and now we're taking it one day at a time...but I can assure you we're happy to meet M&E...it might not be the full power force M&M but we're happy to laugh the way we used to again...




It's been a while since my husband and I found a friendship where we can enjoy and share together. We've felt this way 3 years ago...I can still recall how happy we were to spend bangenge nights together just simply sitting side by side...eating...exchanging our very own life's stories and the like...





SSSSShhhhh...yup it's been awhile since we laughed like we did last night with wonderful friends...It's different when you share a common ground with your better half. It's nice having to share this kind of wonderful friendship with him...Sigh! I'm loving him more than ever!!!

Hi World!

Hi World today is a perfectly sunny day! Happy Friday!!!

The Unwanted Guest

Funny but I do have simple pet peeves....I haven't had any descent sleep since last Friday almost 2 weeks from today...I was sitting in front of the television and at the same time checking on my email for my job search, when suddenly a tiny black shadowy figure ran across the carpeted floor...I freaked out and shouted..."NY I THINK THERE'S A SENIORITA IN THE HOUSE!!!" He laughed and said..., maybe that's just your imagination.

2 weeks prior to this incident a nice neighbor from down stairs approached my husband and asked, " Are you having any mice problem in your apartment?". My husband politely answered, " No we're ok..." smiled and told me about their very brief conversation. My eyes opened wide, " If that is the case then we too can have a similar problem." I freaked out and cleaned the house as thoroughly as I can.

Well anyway...He just simply laughed at me and asked, " Where did you see it?", I simply answered; " from the kitchen floor to I think near our room!" He searched...and finally opened the water heater closet door...and there he was...as scared as I was. My husband freaked out! I asked him to get rid of it because sooner or later it might multiply into two, three, or even a dozen...and I'm really seriously afraid of it. He just said, " Calm down and we will call the management tomorrow.". "Tomorrow?!? We might not be able to know where we will find it tomorrow!?!" I immediately got in a sitting position with my feet off the floor on a kitchen chair! He tried covering the water heater closet door though...but I knew somehow that our unwanted visitor is more clever than that... Early the next morning we got up...I did everything the way I used to in the first hour of my day...and when my husband closed the front door I immediately went inside our room locked my self up for the whole day...I called the management and tried asking for assistance...They immediately sent someone to set-up some traps...but still I wasn't relieved...Then night came...my eyes were still wide opened. I don't know why but for some reasons I'm terribly afraid of senioritas inside the house....Dawn came and still I couldn't keep my eyes closed...and then the first sun rays came and still I couldn't keep my eyes shut...seeing me with my eye bags turning dark and swelling my husband hugged me and said, " Let's go out of town for the weekend and we'll try to sleep and relax." I thought it was so sweet of him to offer such a serene weekend but still I couldn't bring my face to exercise my zygomatic muscles, instead I simply sighed....

Two days after we were back in our apartment...I was pretty exhausted that all I wanted to do was get some sleep...July 4th...my eyes are again wide opened...as I was reaching out for my phone on my night stand table...there it was 4 tiny droppings that made me worry even more...This time I was sure that I wasn't alone inside our lonely room...It seemed as though I shared one whole day with my unwanted friend without even recognizing it 3 days ago!!! I tried checking the whole apartment and it was so disappointing to find out that the droppings were everywhere...This time I won't really be able to sleep...My husband seeing me like this accompanied me to the hardware store to find something that will help us bid farewell to our unwanted guest...

Day 4 passed by...and there he was lying in our kitchen floor...I shrieked at the top of my lungs when I saw it trying to catch it's few last breaths...I shouted even more when he tried to move...When I couldn't contain my self I ran to the administrator office, went instantly to see the manager and said, "Please help me...I found the mouse lying in our kitchen floor!!! I really don't know what to do..."..."Stay calm," she said. "I thought somebody was chasing you...you're still shaking honey." She dialed the number and called for somebody to assist me...and there I was almost relieved that our unwanted guest was already out of the apartment.

...now I'm suppose to be able to shut my eyes and enjoy the serene comforting ways of our little nests...but unfortunately our unwanted guest left me with uncertainty...I'm sorry little fellow...I didn't mean to hurt you...sigh!!!

FB Deactivated!!!

Deactivating my social network account had been very helpful for me for the past few weeks...I was able to somehow rearrange my mindset on things. :-)

I'm still clinging on the songs in my head and a few of my sentimental moments...but I suppose I'm getting there somehow...

Hi there!

Winter is almost over...I can see the flowers blooming again...The trees are almost showing of their magnificent green leaves...( almost)...I do love watching the flowers...and the green green grass...I just have to capture these lovely picture perfect moments one of these days and share it with you...

It's just one of the lovely days of March wherein I'm down with my new buddy Blossom...yes we're talking...we're talking...and we're sharing...and sharing...these few paragraphs with you...hope this new friendship will last for a very...very...very...very...very long time...Promise no heavy files on you this time...

Happy Thursday Night everyone! It's soooooooooo nicccceeeeee to be back! It feels so great to simply contemplate on things again! Life is indeed beautiful...specially so if you're given the time to simply click on your keyboard and share the little things that made you smile each day! God bless....

Winter...winter...Winter.... :-(

It's that crazy time of the year again where ths sky seemed to be weeping it's own heart out...The clouds are pretty heavy and low.....and there's not quite like it. The eerie feeling of winter is here again to make me feel so alone and cold....:-(

Darn! I used to love this part of the year! I used to dance with glee....I used to hum a happy song...I used to love watching the skies as if trying to wait for a wishing star to pass by...Now it's a another cold month...Another year is about to end...Another chapter is about to unfold...Help me Sunshine! Help me appreciate the wonder of this coming year...Save me from the loneliness...Save me from all these craziness...Save me from insanity....Save me from all this crappy none sense! Help me see me own little colorful world....

It's just one of those days I suppose...It's just one of those cloudy days again...Yes indeed...It's just one of those winter cold days...

sigh!

Miss Invisible

She's a girl who had it all; a warm family to come home to, lovely friends and a wonderful life outside their beautiful home and then everything just simply changed. She used to laughed like the way you do...She used to dance as cheerful as you...She used to sing as gleeful as you hum your sweet songs...but unfortunately now she laughs but nobody seems to care...She dances but nobody seems to notice...She sings but nobody seems to hear....and so she sighs! Now I must say she is a bit sad.

She can't write when she is happy. She writes when she's depressed. She longs for her family...for her lovely friends...she longs to be hugged. She longs to be really loved. She's missing so much from this beautiful life time...She finds it so hard to fit in...She's struggling yet she is endlessly being bullied. She appears to be so weak yet she is strong...and so the sad little soul stares at the window saying to herself that her time will soon come...and at that time she'll forget about this sad chapter of her life...She'll move on ... and this time she'll never allow anyone to hurt her again...

but for now she'll hide behind the mask of Miss Invisible...but this too shall pass...and yes she'll smile as sweet as you do...she'll dance cheerfully again and best of all she'll sing her song as marvelous as the angels do... :-D

Lenka - The Show (lyrics).mp3 get more free mp3 & video codes at www.musik-live.net

The Taxi Ride...

We have been walking for more than a mile now and so after a few more blocks we decided to call a taxi cab. I guess we had 3 to 5 attempts before somebody called us at the middle of the busy Folsom street...We raced through the open door and just when we were able to catch our breaths the red traffic light turned green..."Where to?", he asked...kuya replied, "Fisherman's Wharf"...

"it's a lovely day! Yesterday was very foggy...", he exclaimed with a grin..."oh really?" kuya said..."O yeah..I think today is a better day because you guys are here..."..we both smiled...and he replied, " you should come here more often..."we just simply laughed....kuya asked, " so how was your day?"...he just said, "business is ok...it's not great but it's ok...usually this is one of the busiest season here in Frisco...but unfortunately things are going slow"...kuya replied, " you should complain then..." The humble taxi driver just said, " I can't really complain because even if I do complain nobody will listen anyway..."

Those were the striking words that left me thinking on that particular day...Why do I always complain?I guess he's right...In my everyday life I do have tons of whining and complaining to do...and unfortunately nobody would bother to listen....hehehe....I think he is indeed right...I shouldn't complain...as a matter of fact I should start on being thankful for my everyday blessings...I'm so blessed to be given another day to start over...and I'm so blessed to be given another day to do something right...no more complaints...

Whenever I feel like whining...I'd remember the wise taxi driver who once said, " We can complain...but we should also bear in mind that nobody listens anyway..." :-D

Something to Remind me...

I just want to remind myself that....

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.-- unknown

Just love this quote...from Ratatouille

I love this quote and I just can't help myself from sharing it...

In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations, the new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new, an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto: Anyone can cook. But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more.

A Glass Half Full

Just the other week I totally lost it...I couldn't find the right words to describe how I really felt. Sure enough I was really so blessed to have it all...But I keep on looking for more...I keep on telling myself that I'm lost and that there's more to this life than what I have...Unfortunately I guess I'm looking for something that isn't there...I guess I've been asking for too much...Finally I bumped my head really hard...and I just woke up from that hard blow...I'm back to ground zero but I'm extremely thankful to be blessed...

I was checking my mail and there he was...out of nowhere he popped out to say,"hi!"...I smiled and answered back, "hey!"...he sighed and whined..."same old thing I guess"..."not so happy again ey?!?" We were both unhappy...(again for the nth time)...and then he suggested, " why don't we both commit suicide?"...I laugh ( really hard)..."how?" I asked..." I don't want to jump from a building because I don't want to look ugly and devastated when I die...I want to look presentable for my family and friends..."...he just laughed over cyberspace...and then I broke down...and then I started talking about my frustrations in my life...somehow in that conversation I lost it...

... a week passed and I found myself driving with husband...and then I started whining..and then he finally asked me this simple question: "honey if I have a glass of water that is half empty and half full what do you see?" I just replied," it's half empty! There's so much space. There's a lot of room for improvement." " Wrong answer ny," he simply said," it's half full!" I rolled my eyes and for a moment I've been silent...Instead of arguing with him I pondered on what he just told me. The glass is indeed half full. Why in the world did I not get it?

...for the longest time I really haven't seen the world as I used to! I used to say there's something beautiful in everything...somehow along my journey I've learned to forget that...and the glass half full made me realized what I've lost along the way...and on that day I've been reminded that I am extremely blessed...and that I have so much to share...like a lost dog who have been bitten, and half dead...I too have a lot of stories to share about my magnificent journey...I too have been hurt along the way...but somehow, with a smile on my face I can say I finally found my way back home...

It's not always about the destination that counts but it's all about how you get there...In time I will get there but for now let me savor each minute as I wonder off through this great adventure that I have on hand...

...life indeed is like a glass of water...sometimes it's empty...often times it's half full, but nevertheless it's always full and overflowing...

A Lonely Day Indeed

I've been very addicted to several reruns on tv lately...and I can't help but grin whenever my favorite sitcom is on...I love the golden ladies so much...and who would ever forget about the 7th-heaven show...cheers would keep me laughing all afternoon...and of course...later in the afternoon who would stop me from turning the tv on just to watch friends...later in the evening I can't help myself from watching sex and the city over and over again...

Sigh! ...and I wonder...why can't life be a simple rerun...Why can't we all have our happy endings? Don't get me wrong...I'm not complaining...but I too would love to have a good laugh with a friend while sitting in a coffee shop complaining about the crazy what if's, what couldve's and shoudlve's in this life time...I would love to grow old with some wonderful ladies around me...wherein our gray hair would show-off the extraordinary life that we all have together...

Maybe I simply thirst for long lasting friendship...I do have a lot of good friends around me though that I extremely love...but somehow...I would love to have somebody to talk with...to hold their hand whenever they need me...Somebody to say that I'm not always wrong...

Maybe I'm just having too much of these reruns...hahaha....Why can't we all have a simple script that we could memorize and in the end....Why can't we all have a good laugh and of course the happy ending gesture GROUP HUG....

Sigh!!! Oh it's just one of those days where I'd love to hear the song, " where everybody knows your name...."

It's just a lonely day...Yup...It's just one of those lonely days...

Blogger...

A blogger will always be a blogger...

The 10 Wacky Days of August

They were all strangers packed in one room...Others tried to smile...Others would simply throw some "shy glances" to someone close by...Others would simply sit quietly looking at their notes...Our first day was one heck of a day...Some came from their nock shift duties...Others were really exhausted from driving for almost 2 hours just to get here...

As the days passed by we became comfortable with our "new" place...Shy smiles turned into wacky jokes and loud laughters....Shy glances turned into sharing of mouthwatering snacks and lunch...Sitting quietly all alone turned into sitting next together with somebody sharing personal informations...exchanging cellphone numbers...friendster and facebook usernames and of course the ever so popular yahoo messenger addresses...

10 days passed by so quickly...It ended so soon...I'll miss getting up early in the morning to catch up Dr. Martin's class...I'll miss having a hard time finding a perfect parking spot...I'll miss sitting next to the wacky Mrs. Friendship Manay Gina...I miss Manay Dina's mouthwatering meals...I miss the fun filled laughter that I and Manay Cherry would share each day...I miss the shy glances given to me by Blessy...I'll miss the "loud voices" of Kuya Joseph, Kuya Ronald and Joy...I miss the friendly gestures of Estella....The funny but cute jokes of Lyndon...and I can go on and on...but of course what I'll miss best are the inspiring words that Dr. Martin would always give us at the end of every lecture...sigh!?!I'll miss the 10 wacky days of August...I've survived it but the great challenge is still yet to come....Wish me luck...

When Life Vibrates Warmth and Meaning...

Tired...I sighed...and he just looked at me...then he smiled...I smiled back...and then he embraced me so hard and said over and over again, " i love you so much ny..."I kissed him back...and said "I too am so much in love with you..."

It's been weeks and I 'm so happy to say that we've been ourselves lately..."Sweet...Cuddly...and Happy..."...everything's just too perfect...I'm afraid when things like these happen...after the "lovey-dovey" thing out of the blue we'd both end up giving silent treatments to each other...I'm crossing my fingers really hard that things will stay the way they are...


I love the way he squeezes me tight early in the morning...
I love the way he whispers in my ear, "good morning sunshine"...
I love how we giggle early in the wee hours just because of a funny dream...
I love how he would push me at the end of the bed till I drop and simply to find out that he was snoring so hard with his eyes tightly shut...
I love how we'd end up saying, "5 minutes more" before we take a bath when our alarm clock strikes 6 am....( and then we'd end up getting up at 7am instead)
I love how we'd look at each other each morning demanding that we should finish everything that is on our breakfast plates even though we are 15 minutes so late....
I love how we drive side by side and at the end of that vistapark street, we'd end up waving at each other while softly whispering the words, "i love you" before we'd drive off to our designated part of the road...
and best of all I love how he'd come home smelling sweaty in the early evenings and whisper the words, " i missed you!", in my ears...

I hate it though when both of us would wake up on the wrong side of the bed....
I hate how I'd look at you and say, "we're so late again"...
I hate how we'd argue over hot or cold bath in the early mornings...
I hate how we'd exchange "I'm on my bad mood today....just because of cereals and hot cups of milk...
I hate how we wouldn't look at each other on our way to work when taking our own roads just because we believe that we ruined each other's day....
I hate how I'd run off before dinner just because I am still mad at you for not liking the sandwhich that I prepared for you...

But no matter how bad our day is...I'm glad that before the sunsets...We'd always simply smile...hug...and make out...WHY?!?...We'll it's so simple...It's just because we had to sleep in one room...with only one bed...1 comforter...and 1 bed sheet....In other words we can't simply sleep peacefully in the middle of the night...In simplier terms : We just don't have any choice...hehehe...kidding aside...we'll that's the beauty of marriage I suppose...It's never perfect not unless love and hate collide...

Just Talking...

They sat there eye to eye...Talking and typing at the same time. She chuckled ...He laughed...and in the end I just know that they were smiling before saying: "good bye"...

There were times that they would just talk about the past yet would you believe they didn't have any regrets...Funny though he can still make her smile...and she too can still somehow make him laugh...It was a past that they just couldn't forget.

Just the other night they were again in the middle of nowhere talking...talking...and talking about the fruitful on and off 9 years...There were so many unforgettable memories...They never got tired of listening to the same old story over and over again...The twinkle in their eyes are still there...Anything is possible in cyberspace...They can go back in time and revisit their favorite seats at a nearby starbucks shop...They both love the smell of coffee...They both love to sit side by side...They both love to talk all day long and when they do it's as if the world suddenly stops to watch them as they simply laugh...smile...and talk...

...after a few hours of endless typing...there's this eerie silence that would embrace them both..."it's a good thing we never ended up together," he'd say..."otherwise we'd end up hating each other instead..."...and then another minute full of blank yahoo messenger page would often be posted on their computer screens...and sometimes with just that she'd sign off...or he'd sign off...

...There were ifs...what could'ves,and should'ves...but in the end they'd always both agree that this is for the best...

Now he is happy with his new world and so does she...What they had was a wonderful memory that they'd never forget...Now they are just two wonderful people with one beautiful friendship...

As the Clock Strikes 4 on Tuesday Afternoons

I was sitting at my desk waiting for patients to come in...I never realized that time passes by so quickly...Some patients are grouchy enough to ruin your day and others are just too sweet to suddenly brighten everything up...and at exactly 4 pm there they were again...Holding each other's hands as they wave at me to say goodbye...

They look so lovely...A man in his 80's and a lovely woman in her 70's never failed to flash me a smile and say goodbye every tuesday afternoons...How did they make it through all these years I always wondered...I tried observing them once and I just couldn't help but grin seeing the glow in each other's eyes whenever Mr. Right would come and get his Mrs. Right...They were perfect for each other. He waits for her patiently at the corridor....and with a gleeful smile she'd rush into his arms...and hand in hand they'd pass me by gracefully...

What makes a relationship lasts this long I wondered? Last week my supervisor asked me to check on some paper works and suddenly looked at me with her eyebrow's almost clashing together..."do you happen to know a Maribeth Ancheta? That's not you right?" I blushed and said, " That is me...that is actually my maiden name..." I laughed and said, " Oh sometimes I still forget my new last name..."...with a grin she asked me, " how long have you been married?"...to make up for my previously embarrassing mistake I said, " 5 years"...she asked again, " so when did you get married?" I proudly answered, " December of 2005"...she laughed again and said..." oh so you've been married for almost 4 years then..." we laughed hard...and then there was this eerie silence...after a few minutes of laughing out loud she looked at me and said, " well I've been married for 20 years and then I gave up"...I didn't know how to answer her back and so I just looked at her intently with questioning eyes and offered her some chips instead...

How do you make a relationship lasts? Kenny Rogers would sing his THROUGH THE YEARS and maybe give you a wink or two and say, "that is how a relationship lasts..."John and Marsha made us love them for showing us that they were able to make it through with the bumpy world of marriage...But in reality how do we make it through...

I would definitely say that it would be insanely hard to make it through...I guess a little magical ingredients will do the trick...10 cups of patience...a teaspoon of hugs and kisses...a bucket filled with love and understanding...a pint of good communication...1 tablespoon of shared interest...a basin full of prayer...a drop of happy tears...an ounce of affection...and of course a pinch of sweet old memories that makes us smile...

I really don't know the exact answer but I do have a lifetime to find out how...

I'm in my senti mode again with all of these flight of ideas...I just want it to lasts forever...Is it possible?...Maybe...Maybe not...I too would want to sit on a rocking chair someday...side by side with the person who would let me remember how sweet love was...love is...and love that will always be...I too would want to look into his glistening eyes as we talk about our good old memories together...I too would want to walk by the beach holding hands with the person who'd always promised me that though the world will come to an end he'll still be there to love me no matter what...

...and at exactly 4 pm every tuesday afternoons I'd wave back and say, "have a nice day!", to Mr. Right and Mrs. Right and with the glow in their eyes they'd just wave at me and say, " you too dear..." sigh!?! WHAT A PERFECT SIGHT...It's love alright...

The Sad Circus

I hate to see her this way...She sighs whenever she passes by her 3 year old town house...I wanted to say that everything's going to be alright but I know that I would just be lying...I'd love to hug her really tight and say that it is over and that she'll be able to go up and down that 12 steps leading to her bedroom and down to her kitchen but I just can't...

She laughs really hard now-a-days...but I know that deep down within she isn't alright.

It's a different world out here...Others are losing their homes...others are fighting hard to win their castles over...Some are forced to leave their homes leaving everything behind to the lenders who refuse to negotiate...Some are submitting themselves into this so-called "bankruptcy".

It's a battle against the lenders and the home owners.
There are a lot of programs that are made yet tons of people everyday are losing their homes.

...She knows either way that it is a losing end yet she still struggles. She's making herself believe that somehow she will be victorious...She refuse to face the strange truth that between these lenders and homeowners somehow--nobody is about to win...

It's just a sad...sad...sad...circus to be in...