Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Caiden

Posted by beth at 10:42 PM
Friday September 28th 2007, 8:34 am

I entered the room and there he was with his little expressive eyes. His tiny hands reached out for me as if implying that he wanted more than my gaze…Those eyes have something peculiar in them…I wondered what could possibly go wrong…The challenge was there…Is it possible to make a difference in his life? Are there certain ways in which I can give him more than my longing to solve the impossible?

As the day passed by I held him close to me…He gave me not just shy glances but I’m sure he was smiling and telling me a lot of stories that I really can’t understand…I’ve learned a lot from him though…By the end of the day I’m sure he called me not by my name but with a simple 5 lettered word that brought my eyes into tears he said…”MOMMY!” I looked at his muddy face and wiped off his dirty hands…I knew somehow I imparted something special with this little angel…For the very first time I’ve heard him trying to recite his ABC’s…Slowly he was trying to count 123’s…

As that day ended I can’t help but to ponder on this wonderful experience…It saddens me though, I wouldn’t be there to see him grow…I wouldn’t be there to wipe his tears…I wouldn’t be there to protect him from the terrible truths about life…I wouldn’t be there to explain that sufferings can end…I wouldn’t be there to shield him from harm…I can’t hold him close to me forever…I can’t teach him that life doesn’t always have to be all about hatred and vengeance…
Someday his tiny hands will grow bigger than mine…Someday he’ll cut his blonde hair shorter or maybe he’ll try to grow it longer …Someday his eyes will show more than a puzzle…Someday he’ll tell a lot of people about his feelings…or maybe he’ll just simply hide things and tell tales instead…and SOMEDAY HE’LL FORGET ME…


One thing is for sure I’ll always remember the little blonde haired boy at the back of his class giving me those shy glances with his expressive eyes…He will always be in my prayers..and I’d pray that someday he’ll be free from oppression…and that someday he’ll dream bigger than I do…and that someday he’ll make those stories about the big city and the big bus come true...

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