When Life Vibrates Warmth and Meaning...

Tired...I sighed...and he just looked at me...then he smiled...I smiled back...and then he embraced me so hard and said over and over again, " i love you so much ny..."I kissed him back...and said "I too am so much in love with you..."

It's been weeks and I 'm so happy to say that we've been ourselves lately..."Sweet...Cuddly...and Happy..."...everything's just too perfect...I'm afraid when things like these happen...after the "lovey-dovey" thing out of the blue we'd both end up giving silent treatments to each other...I'm crossing my fingers really hard that things will stay the way they are...


I love the way he squeezes me tight early in the morning...
I love the way he whispers in my ear, "good morning sunshine"...
I love how we giggle early in the wee hours just because of a funny dream...
I love how he would push me at the end of the bed till I drop and simply to find out that he was snoring so hard with his eyes tightly shut...
I love how we'd end up saying, "5 minutes more" before we take a bath when our alarm clock strikes 6 am....( and then we'd end up getting up at 7am instead)
I love how we'd look at each other each morning demanding that we should finish everything that is on our breakfast plates even though we are 15 minutes so late....
I love how we drive side by side and at the end of that vistapark street, we'd end up waving at each other while softly whispering the words, "i love you" before we'd drive off to our designated part of the road...
and best of all I love how he'd come home smelling sweaty in the early evenings and whisper the words, " i missed you!", in my ears...

I hate it though when both of us would wake up on the wrong side of the bed....
I hate how I'd look at you and say, "we're so late again"...
I hate how we'd argue over hot or cold bath in the early mornings...
I hate how we'd exchange "I'm on my bad mood today....just because of cereals and hot cups of milk...
I hate how we wouldn't look at each other on our way to work when taking our own roads just because we believe that we ruined each other's day....
I hate how I'd run off before dinner just because I am still mad at you for not liking the sandwhich that I prepared for you...

But no matter how bad our day is...I'm glad that before the sunsets...We'd always simply smile...hug...and make out...WHY?!?...We'll it's so simple...It's just because we had to sleep in one room...with only one bed...1 comforter...and 1 bed sheet....In other words we can't simply sleep peacefully in the middle of the night...In simplier terms : We just don't have any choice...hehehe...kidding aside...we'll that's the beauty of marriage I suppose...It's never perfect not unless love and hate collide...

As the Clock Strikes 4 on Tuesday Afternoons

I was sitting at my desk waiting for patients to come in...I never realized that time passes by so quickly...Some patients are grouchy enough to ruin your day and others are just too sweet to suddenly brighten everything up...and at exactly 4 pm there they were again...Holding each other's hands as they wave at me to say goodbye...

They look so lovely...A man in his 80's and a lovely woman in her 70's never failed to flash me a smile and say goodbye every tuesday afternoons...How did they make it through all these years I always wondered...I tried observing them once and I just couldn't help but grin seeing the glow in each other's eyes whenever Mr. Right would come and get his Mrs. Right...They were perfect for each other. He waits for her patiently at the corridor....and with a gleeful smile she'd rush into his arms...and hand in hand they'd pass me by gracefully...

What makes a relationship lasts this long I wondered? Last week my supervisor asked me to check on some paper works and suddenly looked at me with her eyebrow's almost clashing together..."do you happen to know a Maribeth Ancheta? That's not you right?" I blushed and said, " That is me...that is actually my maiden name..." I laughed and said, " Oh sometimes I still forget my new last name..."...with a grin she asked me, " how long have you been married?"...to make up for my previously embarrassing mistake I said, " 5 years"...she asked again, " so when did you get married?" I proudly answered, " December of 2005"...she laughed again and said..." oh so you've been married for almost 4 years then..." we laughed hard...and then there was this eerie silence...after a few minutes of laughing out loud she looked at me and said, " well I've been married for 20 years and then I gave up"...I didn't know how to answer her back and so I just looked at her intently with questioning eyes and offered her some chips instead...

How do you make a relationship lasts? Kenny Rogers would sing his THROUGH THE YEARS and maybe give you a wink or two and say, "that is how a relationship lasts..."John and Marsha made us love them for showing us that they were able to make it through with the bumpy world of marriage...But in reality how do we make it through...

I would definitely say that it would be insanely hard to make it through...I guess a little magical ingredients will do the trick...10 cups of patience...a teaspoon of hugs and kisses...a bucket filled with love and understanding...a pint of good communication...1 tablespoon of shared interest...a basin full of prayer...a drop of happy tears...an ounce of affection...and of course a pinch of sweet old memories that makes us smile...

I really don't know the exact answer but I do have a lifetime to find out how...

I'm in my senti mode again with all of these flight of ideas...I just want it to lasts forever...Is it possible?...Maybe...Maybe not...I too would want to sit on a rocking chair someday...side by side with the person who would let me remember how sweet love was...love is...and love that will always be...I too would want to look into his glistening eyes as we talk about our good old memories together...I too would want to walk by the beach holding hands with the person who'd always promised me that though the world will come to an end he'll still be there to love me no matter what...

...and at exactly 4 pm every tuesday afternoons I'd wave back and say, "have a nice day!", to Mr. Right and Mrs. Right and with the glow in their eyes they'd just wave at me and say, " you too dear..." sigh!?! WHAT A PERFECT SIGHT...It's love alright...

The Catch

Wednesday July 16th 2008, 12:09 pm

I bought this sex and the city book last month and I had fun going over the pages. Aside from the fearless “punch lines” I get to see Samantha, Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte in their fashionable clothes…shoes…bags…hair style…and the “girly stuff”.

I’ve always been a big fan of this tv series. I fell in love with the characters, the story and best of all the lessons it tries to impart about relationships.

I can relate to almost all of the episodes. Whenever I watch it I sometimes feel like Charlotte who always believes in “happily ever after”. There are times wherein I can relate to Carrie who always expects things to be bigger than mr. big. I’d like to say that there’s a part of me who’s like Miranda, who always pretends to be stronger than she is…and I really wish I can be just like Samantha who can be this extraordinary girl who loves herself more than anybody else.

Well anyway… guess what? I’m writing because I suddenly feel like Carrie who had so many questions about relationships…I and some friends of mine had been talking about “the catch” the other day and I remembered sex and the city’s main character Carrie and one of her quotes…and it got me thinking…” when did it stop being fun and start being scary?”

We’ve been debating on this topic over and over…My male friend said, ” it won’t start being scary as long as you’re both mature enough”…I and my other friend had something else in mind…” it starts getting scary when you know that you don’t have any safety nets that will catch you during your bad fall.” I guess doing things together is the main ingredient of a successful relationship. Doing things together makes the relationship work…Trying to be strong for the weaker person makes the relationship in a better position to withstand all other “bad falls”…Knowing that somebody’s there to “catch” you is enough to feel secured in a relationship. The “i got your back and you got mine” thing would mean ” happily ever after” to me…Well basically I believe when your partner forgets about the “safety net” and tries to let go, that’s just the point wherein it stops being fun and starts being scary”.

Oh well…it’s just one of those hot summer days… :-p

P.S. I LOVE YOU

Sunday June 01st 2008, 4:02 pm

Honestly I shouldn’t be blogging right now but due to my emotions I had to drop by and express my thoughts…

I and my sister have been bickering all day, when we got tired we just stared at each other and laugh really hard. We have just realized how childish we really are. I saw a smile on dad’s face ( I really don’t know why he was smiling but I guess he too finds it very childish of us to be pulling each other’s hair and running along the hallway– and to think that I’m nearly 28 and my sister is turning 25 on the 26th).

Well anyway we settled down for awhile and there it was my sister’s pc just magically switched on with this amazing movie–P.S. I LOVE YOU…we were simply elevating our legs on the headboard and we started to exchange sighs and tissue papers…We cried really hard…She look at me and asked, ” When will I find my Jerry?”…”Will I ever find him?”…Realizing that she got carried away I wanted to give her the exact words that I always give my friends but I can’t…I wanted to say that, ” don’t worry you’ll be fine…soon he’ll be there you’ll see” but I simply can’t…instead to stop her from all those tears I simply hugged her and said…”You already have your Jerry…”

Finding Jerry isn’t easy but when you do, don’t ever let him go…It’s nice to wake up each morning finding that special someone by your side…You can have some heated arguments–you’ll hate him for telling the truth but in the end you’ll love him for his honesty… Never expect him to say you’re gorgeous each day, you may love to hear the compliment but it’s better when he’d say, ” I really don’t like you wearing pink, but you know what I see you very sexy in your black mini dress!”…Don’t expect each day to be filled with hugs and sweet kisses…you’ll love his warm body touching yours but sometimes you’ll appreciate it more if he’ll give you enough space under the sheets for you to get enough sleep…You’ll laugh at his funny jokes but expect that there will be times that you’ll cry due to his uninvited criticisms…Sometimes you’ll hate him for not understanding you but in the end you’ll love his apologetic smile as he teases you…

I miss my “jerry” –MY SWEET AND LOVING MARLON IN REAL LIFE…I wish I could make him feel how special he is even when I’m a few hours away…I wish I could be his “jerry” where in I can make him feel that he is the most wonderful thing that ever happened in my life…I miss my hubby…my baba…my booooo….

Honey if you’re reading this I’m just dropping by to say, I hope you’re fine and I wish I’m there to watch you early in the morning…to fix your breakfast…to prepare your clothes…to smoothly massage you with that sweet smelling body lotion…give you a quick hug and a sweet little smooch…and finally to say, ” NY MALADAW KAN! 8:30 MANEN“….hehehe…and of course to simply say, ” always remember ny…. P.S. I LOVE YOU…”

Thinking Out Loud (T.O.L.)

Tuesday April 29th 2008, 12:44 pm

I woke up this morning and I gazed at you for a long time…I love watching you with your eyes half close, your lips slightly open, your arms tightly wrap around me…then suddenly my tears begun to fall…I had no intention of waking you up…I just wanted to cherish that special moment of just lying still beside you where I can hold your perfect hands…where I can smell your first breath…where I can feel the warmth of your body…where I can be as simple as me…
How I wish that life could be as simple as this…But there is more to life than lying still and cherishing that “special moment”…We have dreams as big as anyone can ever imagine and I just want to make all those dreams come true…We just need to sacrifice a little…

Believe me it won’t be easy…I’ll have my shares of longer days, lonesome afternoons and “silent nights”…but when this is over everything will be in its proper order…
We’ll have our very own house with 4 bedrooms and a garage, you’ll have your X5(hehehe–did I get it right this time?), I’ll have my own nursing home, we’ll have two lovely angels–(a cute little boy who’ll have your perfect eyes and nose, a pretty little girl who’ll have my thick hair and my wondering eyes) , we’ll have our very own apso lhasa with her own dog house in the garage, I’ll have my very own mini copper, we’ll see your mom and dad every 6 mos., we’ll have a family business with my dad, mom and sissy, we’ll have enough time to visit our sisters and brothers, our kids will have plenty of time to play with their cousins, and with peanut and annara too…

I just can’t wait for this thing to be over!?!
After this…I’ll be lying next to you…watching you as you drift into our dream world…I’ll be caressing your forhead…you’ll feel the warmth of my body next to yours…I’ll wrap you tightly in my arms…I’ll be waiting for you to open your perfect little eyes…and when you’re fully awake I’ll kiss you endlessly…and this time…I’ll always be beside you no matter what...

Something About LOVE

Monday July 23rd 2007, 12:43 pm

I’m listening to a lot of heartbreaking songs…and I remember how it feels like to hold on to something really special and then suddenly it’s so painful to realize that you’ve lost your grasp and right there and there you know that it was actually time to let go…

I’ve seen a lot of hearts broken…At first there were a lot of promises made…then dreams were shared…and after the promises and dreams, goals were realized…but it’s just so sad to know that after all those years of gazing into each other’s eyes…after those endless days of whispering those sweet nothings…after those endless hours of simply talking and holding each others hands everything will just be a memory…

It breaks my heart just simply remembering those good old times…It made me feel sorry for myself because I really don’t have any answer for my what if’s questions…but I’m thankful though for I have a lot of good memories…It’s worth looking into my old scrapbook and it’s really comforting to read a lot of colorful pages from my old diaries…
Sometimes fate has all the answer…it may have all the answer but I guess we do have all the will power to choose our destiny…